Alastair Taylor's List

1. "A giant squid stole my wife and kid. Full story and pics, ten pence off your Weetabix." - Suicide Drive - Seahorses
2. "Should've know, should've cared, should've hung around the kitchen in my underwear acting like a lady. Should've made me." - The Show - Girls Aloud
3. "One thousand and one yellow daffodils begin to dance in front of you - oh dear!" - I'm Going Slightly Mad - Queen
4. "You need a spastic taxi for the cow milk." - Happy Again - Longpigs
5. "Look at my breasts they're small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains." - Whenever, Wherever - Shakira
6. "And now I know how Joan of Arc felt, now I know how Joan of Arc felt. As the flames rose to her roman nose and her walkman started to melt." - Bigmouth Strikes Again - The Smiths
7. "The chablis wasn't chilled, such a dreadful oversight." - Sparkle - My Life Story
8. "Sixteen, clumsy and shy. I went to London and I, I booked myself in at the Y...W.C.A. I said "I like it here - can I stay? I like it here - can I stay? And do you have a vacancy for a back-scrubber?" - Half A Person - The Smiths
9. "Tell me is it time to get down on your mother-f*cking knees?" - Battleflag - Lo Fidelity Allstars
10. "I'm gonna push you further into my dreams, the back of every head holds something obscene." - Mary - Supergrass

Mhairidh Lumsden's List

1. "You make me come, you make me complete, you make me completely miserable" - Miserable - Lit
2. "Fill me with the hot stuff and say you've got to go, take my mind, marinate it in red wine" - Autumngirlsoup - Kirsty MacColl
3. "Tell me is it time to get down on your mother-fucking knees?" - Battleflag - Lo Fidelity Allstars
4. "Got a picture of you beside me, got your lipstick marks still on my coffee cup" - Back For Good - Take That
5. "She was ducking for apple and we stick to that story, we just held her breath for her and sadly she drowned" - Hide The Dead Girl - Terrorvision
6. "It's hard to get by, when your arse is the size, of a small country" - National Express - The Divine Comedy
7. "For you I'd bleed myself dry" - Yellow - Coldplay
8. "So you say there's a race, of men in the trees, you're for tough legislation, thanks for calling, I wait all night for calls like these" - The Nightfly - Donald Fagen
9. "Vicious, like I hit you with a flower" - Vicious - Lou Reed
10. "My kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder" - Lover, You Should've Come Over - Jeff Buckley

Brian Johnston's List

1. "One last thing before I quit, I never wanted any more than I could fit into my head. I still remember every single word you said, and all the shit that somehow came along with it. There's still one thing that comforts me, since I was always caged and now I'm free." - Monkey Wrench - Foo Fighters
2. "You don't always have to f*ck her hard, in fact sometimes thats not right to do, sometimes you make some l*ve and give her some smooches too." - Hard F*cking - Tenacious D
3. "You're a bum, you're a punk, you're an old sl*t on junk, lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed. You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy f*ggot, happy christmas your a*se, I pray God it's our last." - Fairytale of New York - The Pogues & Kirsty MacColl
4. "You were everything I wanted, but I just can't finish what I started. There's no room left here on my back. It was damaged long ago, though you swear that you are true, i'd still pick my friends over you." - My Friends Over You - New Found Glory
5. "Misty morning, clouds in the sky without warning, the wizard walks by casting his shadow, weaving his spell. Funky clothes, tinkling bell." - The Wizard - Black Sabbath
6. "Your face is gross, you eat white toast, you don't know what to do. It's just your luck, you really suck, that's all!" - I'm Sick Of You - Gwar
7. "I have lost the will to live, simply nothing more to give, there is nothing more for me, need the end to set me free" - Fade To Black - Metallica
8. "Jump, Bounce, Down, Up Jump, Pogo, Pogo, Pogo, Pogo, Pogo, Pogo, Pogo, Pogo, Bounce...etc" - Bounce - System Of A Down
9. "Now it's time for me to tell you about young Nastyman, archrival and nemesis of Wonderboy, with powers comparable to Wonderboy. What powers you ask? I dunno how 'bout the power of flight? That do anything for ya? That's levitation, Holmes. How 'bout the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away...with mind bullets! That's telekinesis, Kyle. How 'bout the power to move you?" - Wonderboy - Tenacious D
10. "Gimme fuel, Gimme fire, Gimme that which I desire" - Fuel - Metallica

Mike Letts' List

1. "Did you ever feel the blast, as the s*mtex bomb goes off? Do you ever hear the screams, as the limbs are all torn off?" - Blinded By Rainbows - Rolling Stones
2. "Knife gleamin', no feelin's, axe weildin', child stealin'. Madman is loose...in Disneyland. Madman is loose in Disneyland, he's back here by popular demand." - Madman - Ugly Kid Joe
3. "I've been thinking about you, so how can you sleep? These people aren't your friends, they're paid to kiss your feet. They don't know what I know and why should you care, when I'm not there?" - Thinking about you - Radiohead
4. "Ha-ha! We come in peace, shoot to k*ll. Shoot to k*ll, shoot to k*ll!" - Startrekkin - The Firm
5. "Look at my bre*sts they're small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains" - Whenever, Wherever - Shakira
6. "Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts. It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black" - Paint It Black - Rolling Stones
7. "Alright Aldo, Sound as a pound. I'm cushty la but there's nothing down. The rest of the lads ain't got it sussed, we'll have to learn 'em to talk like us!" - Anfield Rap - Liverpool FC
8. "You're wasting your time and my time as well, living a lie I guess that time will tell. You're making excuses for the things you've never done. Walking in circles blinded by the sun" - Blinded By The Sun - The Seahorses
9. "Someone's knockin' at the door, I'm lookin' at my girlfriend. She just passed out on the floor. I've seen so many things, I ain't never see before. Don't know what it is, I don't wanna see no more." - Mama Told Me Not To Come - Tom Jones
10. "Been holding onto anger, now it's got a hold on you. And bitterness keeps growing, affecting everything you do" - Live And Let Die - Paul McCartney

Brian Johnston's List

1. "And did they get you trade your heros for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cold breeze? Cold comfort for change and did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a leading role in a cage?" - Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd
3. "And when your fears subside and shadows still remain, I know that you can love me when there's no one left to blame. So nevermind the darkness, we still can find a way 'cause nothin' lasts forever, even cold November rain." - November Rain - Guns 'N' Roses
5. "When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone. When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on. Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes." - Everybody Hurts - REM
7. "I used to worry, thought I was goin' mad. In a hurry, gettin' stress, makin' excess mess in darkness. No electricity, something's all over me, greasy Insomnia..........I can't get no sleep." - Insomnia - Faithless
9. "Throw a stone and watch the ripples flow, moving out across the bay, like a stone a fall into your eyes, deep into that mystery, deep into your mystery." - Please Forgive Me - David Gray
11. "I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars on a collision course, I'm a satellite, I'm outta control, I'm a sex machine ready to reload like an atom bomb, I'm gonna oh oh oh oh oh explode!" - Don't Stop Me Know - Queen
13. "And that time over at Johnny's place, well this chick got up and she slapped Johnny's face. Man we just fell about the place. If that chick don't want to know, forget her!" - The Boys Are Back In Town - Thin Lizzy
15. "Strap on Sally chased us down the alley, we feared for our behinds!" - Love Is The Law - The Seahorses
17. "So what I suggest you just throw them all away. The handbags and the gladrags that your poor old Granddad had to sweat to buy." - Handbags and Gladrags - Rod Stewart
19. "No no no no no no no no no no no no there's no limit." - No Limit - 2 Unlimited

More Top Ten Lyrics to follow...

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