Alastair Taylor's List

1. Tim: "Well, no hard feelings then"
   Dwayne: "You shot me in the bollocks Tim"
   Tim: "Yeah as I said...No hard feelings" - Spaced
2. "You! Cake or death?"
   "Err..cake please"
   "Well we're all out of cake. We only had 3 bits and we didn't expect such a rush."
   "So my choice is: or death?" - Eddie Izzard - Dress To Kill
3. Giles: "I always have a jelly. I'm always the one that says 'Let's have a jelly in the mix.'"
   Willow: "We're sorry. Buffy had three!" - Buffy The Vampire Slayer
4. Ted: "He does make exceedingly good cakes!" - The Fast Show
5. Daisy: "Hey crazy wicked naked girl with no nipples...what are you doin' here? Cover yourself up love, cover yourself up" - Spaced
6. "What is it Sebastian? I'm arranging matches" - Eddie Izzard - Dress to Kill
7. Spike: "Bloody hell....sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks...oh god, I'm English!" - Buffy The Vampire Slayer
8. Tim Bisley: "Skip to the end" - Spaced
9. Tim Bisley: "Don't let them dress you up like a giant cock!"
   Mike Watt: "I had to dress up as an elderly Israeli woman once"
   Tim Bisley: "Did you?"
   Mike Watt: "I didn't HAVE to" - Spaced
10. Tim Bisley: "Oh my god....I've got some f*cking Jaffa Cakes in my coat pocket!" - Spaced

Mike Letts' List

1. Homer Simpson: "I am not crazy. It's the TV that's crazy, aren't you TV?" - The Simpsons
2. Rachel: "No Joey it's unisex"
   Joey: "Maybe you need sex. I had sex last night" - Friends
3. Cat: "So this is really me?! A no-style gimbo, with teeth that druids could use as a place of worship" - Red Dwarf
4. Rimmer: "Step up to Red Alert!"
   Kryten: "Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb. - Red Dwarf
5. Kryten: "You're a total smeeeh heeeh" - Red Dwarf
6. Ross: "Joey, homosapiens are human beings"
   Joey: "Hey I'm not judging!" - Friends
7. Peter: "You guys make like siamese twins and split... and then one of you die later" - Family Guy
8. Dr. Cox: "Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren't "see ya", then the third word will be "Oh my god my crotch, you've punched me in my crotch"" - Scrubs
9. Frank Drebin: "Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to keep on my toes" - Police Squad
10. Dr. Cox: "I know I'm supposed to be Dr. Give-A-Crap, but you wanna hear the God's honest truth? And this is a fact: You are what you eat. And you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn't ya? " - Scrubs

Brian Johnston's List

1. Murray Walker: "Unless I am very much mistaken...yes I am very much mistaken" - Grand Prix
2. Basil Fawlty: "Right that's it, I'm going to give you a damn good thrashing!" - Fawlty Towers
3. Jack Bauer: "I'm Jack Bauer and today is the longest day of my life" - 24
4. Brian Johnston: "The batsman's Holding, the Bowler's Willey" - Cricket
5. Eric Cartman: "Why don't you stop dressing me up like a mailman and making me dance for you, while you go smoke crack in the bedroom and have sex with a guy I don't even know on my dads bed!" - South Park
6. John Cleese: "And now for something completely different" - Monty Python's Flying Circus
7. Peter: "I'm not racist, I just don't like niggers" - Family Guy
8. Security Guard: "If I wanted smoke blown up my ass I'd be at home with a cigar and a short length of rubber hose" - The Simpsons
9. Sir Humphrey Appleby: "We don't need all those nuclear weapons to protect ourselves from the Russians"
   Jim Hacker: "Who do we need them for?"
   Sir Humphrey Appleby: "The French" - Yes, Prime Minister
10. Murray Walker: "My heart is beating like a Jackhammer...whatever that is!" - Grand Prix

More Top Ten TV Quotes to follow...

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